Acquisition and Loss
The Desire to acquire and the Fear of losing what is possessed is one of the greatest causes of unhappiness in the human experience.
Before I get into the main point of my article - I would like to deal with those who say "That's easy for you to say." Well, I am not "living the American dream."
There is a segment of the American society which is focused on creating discontentment. They try to convince you that you need to measure your level of contentment based upon whether or not you are living as well financially as everyone around you.
I have three sisters. Their families all own the houses that they live in. My brother is a medical doctor. I do not know what his financial status is, but I am certain that he has had more financial opportunities than I have ever had. I do not envy any of my siblings nor do I covet their possessions. Nor do I feel that life has been unfair to me, nor am I made unhappy by their successes.
Happiness does not come from acquiring more possessions nor does it come from losing possessions.
When you live in such a way as to be consistent with your convictions, with that which is important to you, with your relationships, with your ability to be trusted, when you strive to fulfill your priorities - you can find internal cohesion.
I am not claiming that you or I will ever achieve complete contentment or complete integrity - but I do believe that the "pursuit of happiness" is not the pursuit of acquisition but rather the pursuit of character.
Actually pursuing character is just as frustrating (if not more frustrating) that pursuing acquisition. No human is more aware of my internal flaws than I am. No human is more aware of those times that I have for the moment "failed" in being consistent. But in knowing that the past is indeed past and that each day brings new opportunity and that the future holds great potentialities - a person can "let go" of the past and focus on today's pursuit of character.
In like manner, from time to time, I experience a period of time of success in my pursuit of internal cohesion. When those periods of times occur, it is tempting to award myself a mental certificate of achievement. But that is just as foolish as wallowing in melancholy over times of failure. If a professional sports team won a single game and behaved from then on as if they had fulfilled their purpose in life, they would be a laughingstock. Even winning two consecutive annual championships is not sufficient for a sports team. (The Chicago Cubs won the 1907 and 1908 World Series.)
Periods of Time of Success in the pursuit of Character are enjoyed as they are experienced - but each hour and each minute is a new challenge and it is in the living of the moment within your integrity that you find life to be sweet.
Another problem that people must deal with in pursuing Character is expecting more of yourself than you currently should. "Perfectionism" is a snare of unhappiness. The development of character is a gradual process. Just as a first grader would not be made unhappy because of an inability to perform Calculus or Topology equations, so you and I should not demand perfect cohesion of ourselves.
For those who read this, who are religious: Nothing in this article (or in any article in this blog) should be read as if the writer were denying that every human is in need of Grace.
Before I get into the main point of my article - I would like to deal with those who say "That's easy for you to say." Well, I am not "living the American dream."
By American financial standards, I would probably be classified as either lower middle class or upper lower class. I have never owned a piece of land. The most valuable thing that I own in financial terms is a 1999 Ford Taurus with over 114,000 miles on it. The computer that I am using is six years old, was a gift and was the lowest configuration of RAM and HD size in its line at the time of purchase.
But I realize that compared to most people in the world that I am wealthy. It would be nice to own more but I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear and a car that runs.
It does not bother me that I do not own a big screen TV or that I do not have HDTV. It does not bother me that I do not get HBO or Cinemax and the suchlike. (Actually, I would like to get the Biography channel, the History channel, the Discovery channel and TLC - but I don't need them to be happy.)
I don't have an ipod or a playstation or a gameboy. I don't have a cell phone or a pager.
All of these things would be nice to have, but it does not cause me to fret or be sad that I do not own them.
There is a segment of the American society which is focused on creating discontentment. They try to convince you that you need to measure your level of contentment based upon whether or not you are living as well financially as everyone around you.
I have three sisters. Their families all own the houses that they live in. My brother is a medical doctor. I do not know what his financial status is, but I am certain that he has had more financial opportunities than I have ever had. I do not envy any of my siblings nor do I covet their possessions. Nor do I feel that life has been unfair to me, nor am I made unhappy by their successes.
Happiness does not come from acquiring more possessions nor does it come from losing possessions.
When you live in such a way as to be consistent with your convictions, with that which is important to you, with your relationships, with your ability to be trusted, when you strive to fulfill your priorities - you can find internal cohesion.
I am not claiming that you or I will ever achieve complete contentment or complete integrity - but I do believe that the "pursuit of happiness" is not the pursuit of acquisition but rather the pursuit of character.
Actually pursuing character is just as frustrating (if not more frustrating) that pursuing acquisition. No human is more aware of my internal flaws than I am. No human is more aware of those times that I have for the moment "failed" in being consistent. But in knowing that the past is indeed past and that each day brings new opportunity and that the future holds great potentialities - a person can "let go" of the past and focus on today's pursuit of character.
In like manner, from time to time, I experience a period of time of success in my pursuit of internal cohesion. When those periods of times occur, it is tempting to award myself a mental certificate of achievement. But that is just as foolish as wallowing in melancholy over times of failure. If a professional sports team won a single game and behaved from then on as if they had fulfilled their purpose in life, they would be a laughingstock. Even winning two consecutive annual championships is not sufficient for a sports team. (The Chicago Cubs won the 1907 and 1908 World Series.)
Periods of Time of Success in the pursuit of Character are enjoyed as they are experienced - but each hour and each minute is a new challenge and it is in the living of the moment within your integrity that you find life to be sweet.
Another problem that people must deal with in pursuing Character is expecting more of yourself than you currently should. "Perfectionism" is a snare of unhappiness. The development of character is a gradual process. Just as a first grader would not be made unhappy because of an inability to perform Calculus or Topology equations, so you and I should not demand perfect cohesion of ourselves.
For those who read this, who are religious: Nothing in this article (or in any article in this blog) should be read as if the writer were denying that every human is in need of Grace.
posted by Shewmaker on Monday, March 06, 2006 Permalink
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