History and Mythology are full of stories about fathers or teachers who became jealous because their son or students excelled or had the potential to excell their greatness. The myth of Cronus and Rhea said that Cronus tried to kill six of his children because he feared that he would be deposed by them even as he deposed his father. However, the legend says that his sixth attempt to kill his progeny failed because Rhea tricked him into swallowing a rock.

Another attitude which a teacher ought not possess, is a desire to be glorified by his or her student. This destructive attitude is portrayed by Professor Higgins in Shaw's "Pygmalion" and Svengali in Du Maurier's "Trilby".

The attitude which a teacher ought to possess, in opposition to the attitudes of jealousy and self-glorification, is the attitude of Love.

Love seeks to empower the development of the student without any selfish desire for reflected glory. ( Rosa Say asked for assistance in articulating Aloha. Like myself, Rosa believes that Love is an essential ingredient of all human relations and especially of management. )

Love also does not abandon the teacher's own need for self-development. However, self-development does not require public glory because true development occurs within the character of the individual. Teaching is not a completely selfless act. Because in the effort required to effectively empower another person's development is the impetus for the further development of the teacher. By the act of teaching, the teacher acquires knowledge and is internally transformed.

Love also does not seek to patriarchally (or matriarchally) decide what is best for the adult student. Although Love does always seek the student's greatest well-being, the student can not truly continue to develop without independence. Similarly, Love does not seek to prevent the student from making mistakes or from suffering the consequences of failure because these things are actually beneficial to development.

Thus the teacher does not make the mistake of viewing the student as an extension of the teacher but rather as an independent entity. The teacher neither views the student's future successes as his own glory nor the student's future failures as his own destruction. Because the teacher cares for the student's potential, he does sorrow over the student's failures and is caused to rejoice when his student succeeds - but from a truly vicarious response and not from a sense of personal accomplishment or failure.

The teacher's effort to empower the student's development is not centered around "feel good about themselves" efforts but rather towards long-term potential and growth. The teacher who praises character development (and not outward accomplishment) is most effective when the student is certain of the authenticity of the praise. If praise is offered profligately, the student learns to devalue the praise. If praise is offered miserly, the student becomes discouraged and frustrated. If praise is offered for outward accomplishment, the student learns to value public glory more than personal growth.

Praise is an important tool within the teacher's resources and should be used with wisdom for the student's growth and development. A teacher also needs to realize that praise can be likened to a drug. Just as a drug can medicinally be beneficial, but may also become an addiction, so it is also with praise. A teacher who withholds praise from the frustrated and discouraged student who has great potential is an unwise teacher. However, it is also a foolish teacher who supplies praise generously to the student who is becoming "needy" for the commendation of others.

Another factor in a teacher's love for a student's potential, is that the effective teacher is not concerned about whether the student "likes" the teacher or not. This is not to say that a teacher should not strive to be likeable, but rather that a fear of the loss of another person's affections frequently causes humans to selfishly seek to place the desired affection ahead of the growth and development of the other. It takes great courage to confront someone whose affection you desire when they need to "hear the truth" about some issue or topic without regard for whether or not the hearer will react negatively to that which has been said.

This is not to be confused with the person who takes a perverse delight in bringing bad news to others. For this type of confrontation seeks not to inflict pain but rather to gently assist the student to adjust to the reality of the circumstances in order to aid in further growth.

In the next article, we will discuss the attitude of commitment.

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