Avoiding the reactive life
Let's examine how K.B.L.T may be put to use in self-control.
The first area is Knowledge. People who have not learned to control their reactions, sometimes behave in ways which they later regret when they are confronted by an unexpected occurrence. It is possible to develop self-control over this reactive impulse.
An older term for avoiding reacting is "resisting temptation." Temptation is another word for the stimuli which causes the undisciplined person to react instead of responding based upon one's values.
Another form of reactive behavior is occurs when one is unexpectedly scared. Jeffrey Phillips wrote a good article in November of last year on how a company should avoid panicking.
If you need help with this, there are coaches such as myself or there are reading materials available from bookstores and libraries which can help you gain knowledge. Sudden fear causes many people to panic or to behave irrationally because of fear.
The second area is becoming. This requires training yourself to be unreactive and to properly assess situations before responding to them. Many times people who panic easily make hasty and inaccurate judgments concerning the level of threat or danger.
Again in this area you may need guidance. Some people are able to train themselves with the assistance of written materials. I personally am of the opinion that coaches are more effective than books in training the average reactive person. A coach can give feedback which a book can not.
Living - This is the really hard part. It takes years to become less reactive. I remember when I was in my twenties, that having a driver pass me on the freeway frequently caused my competitive spirit to increase my driving speed. It took years to reach the point that I now rarely react to the behavior of other drivers. However, there are other areas of my life that I still am improving when it comes to reacting.
Teaching - This is when you start helping others to learn to exercise self-control and to properly assess what is happening around them. Teaching is both rewarding and painful. You are rewarded by the affect which the act of teaching has upon your own self-development. You are rewarded by the progress which you see your student making. But it is also very painful to allow someone who you care about to be independent and to even make mistakes. It is very painful to learn that you can not prevent another person's regrets without also hindering their own growth towards maturity. But in the pain, you also will find yourself growing and developing as well.
The first area is Knowledge. People who have not learned to control their reactions, sometimes behave in ways which they later regret when they are confronted by an unexpected occurrence. It is possible to develop self-control over this reactive impulse.
An older term for avoiding reacting is "resisting temptation." Temptation is another word for the stimuli which causes the undisciplined person to react instead of responding based upon one's values.
Another form of reactive behavior is occurs when one is unexpectedly scared. Jeffrey Phillips wrote a good article in November of last year on how a company should avoid panicking.
If you need help with this, there are coaches such as myself or there are reading materials available from bookstores and libraries which can help you gain knowledge. Sudden fear causes many people to panic or to behave irrationally because of fear.
The second area is becoming. This requires training yourself to be unreactive and to properly assess situations before responding to them. Many times people who panic easily make hasty and inaccurate judgments concerning the level of threat or danger.
Again in this area you may need guidance. Some people are able to train themselves with the assistance of written materials. I personally am of the opinion that coaches are more effective than books in training the average reactive person. A coach can give feedback which a book can not.
Living - This is the really hard part. It takes years to become less reactive. I remember when I was in my twenties, that having a driver pass me on the freeway frequently caused my competitive spirit to increase my driving speed. It took years to reach the point that I now rarely react to the behavior of other drivers. However, there are other areas of my life that I still am improving when it comes to reacting.
Teaching - This is when you start helping others to learn to exercise self-control and to properly assess what is happening around them. Teaching is both rewarding and painful. You are rewarded by the affect which the act of teaching has upon your own self-development. You are rewarded by the progress which you see your student making. But it is also very painful to allow someone who you care about to be independent and to even make mistakes. It is very painful to learn that you can not prevent another person's regrets without also hindering their own growth towards maturity. But in the pain, you also will find yourself growing and developing as well.
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